070410 CHAD Delilah: Overcoming Lust

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNcMgGGOwzE

7-04-10 Delilah: Overcoming Lust

Close to danger, but not "in" danger

STORY: For Spring break, my family headed to Florida. While we were there, we met up with my mom and dad. And of all the activities we wanted to try. We saw an advertisement for the chance to Ride in a Swamp Boat. As we cruised across the swampy marshes, the driver came to a stop, then pointed 10 feet away at a resting crocodile. He then said, "We are not suppossed to do this, but I like to feed them to get a little closer to the boat. He then threw in some puffy marshmallows. The crocodile drifted closer to the boat. Now only three feet from my daughter who was on the crocodile side of the boat. This "crocodile expert" assured us it was safe, assured us that he knew what he was doing, since it's not mating season. But we were slightly terrorized. Part of me loved the fact that we were this close to the danger, another part of me was very nervous... Not for me. I knew the croc would eat my daughter and mom before getting to me. :) But I was worried for them. We were close to danger, but theoretically not "in danger."

TRANS: "In the swamp, we push limits, get close to danger, feed crocodiles, since "it's not mating season." I wonder how many people have been eaten with that recipe for safety. In life, we do the same thing. We are "close to danger" but not in danger. Especially when it comes to lust. After all, It's not like it's mating season. :) And we can flirt, gaze, fanatize, imagine, lean toward someone, but the whole time tell ourselves, "Yes I am close to danger, but I'm not "In" danger."

In his book, Temptations Men Face, the author shows us the stages of an affair for men and women. I read this 12 years ago, and I have been amazed to watch it play out tragically in relationships. And notice that with each stage there is a sense that you may be close to danger, but not actually in "danger". Let me give you the 12 stages, and see how far into the process you may currently be.

• Stage 1: Readiness: Something is happening in your life that has you leaning away from your marriage
• Stage 2: Alertness: You have an awareness of a particular person, you occasionally think about them or their attributes (physical or character)
• Stage 3: Innocent Meeting: During this time, there may be chance meeting or legitimate business encounters.
• Stage 4: Intentional Meeting: One person is intentionally making more frequent "chance" meetings occur.
• Stage 5: Public LIngering: In group settings, you linger longer to spend time chatting with this person.
• Stage 6: Private LIngering: Still hanging out long after others are gone from staff meeting or day at the office.
• Stage 7: Purposeful Isolating: You find legitimate business reasons to have private lunch or dinner to work on projects together.
• Stage 8: Pleasurable Isolating: Now you get together for the sheer enjoyment of being together. There may be a hand on the shoulder, the waist, and gentle touching of the hand.
• Stage 9: Passionate Embracing: Hugs, childish wrestling, tickling, and clinging when you hug good bye...

(YOU) What strikes me about these stages is that there is no physical touch at all until you are at stage 8!!! You are well into the danger zone, before you get eaten by lust. (PAUSE) What stage are you at in your marriage right now? Are you on the path to an affair? (PAUSE) Are you leaning away from your marriage right now? Away of someone else? Finding excuses to hang out, work with someone? (PAUSE) We all have seasons in our marraige that are great, hard, tough, fun, and really difficult. During the difficult times, the disconnecting times, we start this process.

TRANSITION (GOD) Today as we look at the story of Samson and Delilah, you will see the same progression. The same acceleration of bad decisions, tempting situations. Long before Samson loses his eyes... Long before he is humiliated as a grain grinder... We can see it coming. He is Close to Danger While Lying to Himself, "I'm not in any real danger... It's not mating season after all."

The Path to Danger has warning signs posted. Today, As we work through this passage, we'll see warning signs posted on Samson's path. Warning Signs that tell us we are headed toward a dangerous destination. I believe each of us can overcome the final destination of lust by recognizing the Warning Signs.

We'll discover something we all know and yet deny. The reality that every path has a destination. When you get on a certain path, it is going somewhere, leading someonewhere. We may deny it... Yes, I know I logged onto the computer late at night when I am tired and angry at my wife, but I'm fine... Yes, I know my personal trainer is a handsome man who I spend alot of one on one time with... But there isn't a problem.. Sure, I Facebook him occasionally, and text, but it's not that big of a deal. My spouse is just paranoid... And we watch, We watch someone go down a path headed toward a destination while denying they will end up at the destination.

Warning Sign #1: Grazing

^16:1 Now Samson went to Gaza

Chapter 16 opens with Samson Grazing, wandering toward Gaza, a location known to be a hangout for harlots. And Samson went to Gaza. And "I wonder what will happen in Gaza??" I wonder if he will get in trouble in Gaza?! I bet you have a higher chance of being tempted when you find yourself in a place where prostitutes hang out. Right?! The same is true for you and I, when we begin grazing in situations and circumstances that we know are unwise. It's a mile marker.

I once heard a marriage counselor says, "The Grass is not greener on the other side, it's greener where you water is." When we begin to fantasize about other people, other marriages. Greener pastures, and then intentionally graze into computer sites, graze into emotional conversations, graze into private disclosure on Facebook with an old high school sweet heard. It's a mile marker.

STORY: Iphone from Kentucky... I now never use this APP: I know it's in there. I know that if I open this APP, I will be tempted to look for it, download it, and use it. I don't want to get close to danger.. By then I'll be in danger. Just 3 weeks after making that decision, I found myself wanting to "check on an APP' and as I went to push the APP store, I knew in the back of my mind, I was planning to go look for this APP. I stopped myself at the GRAZING stage.

Warning Sign #2: Gazing

and saw a harlot there,

So, he moves from Grazing to Gazing. He looks. He sees a harlot there. He looks on her, and apparentely doesn't look away. He allows himself to look, to dwell, to fantasize. And this stage is a mile marker. You and I know where this path is going. Samson might say, "I'm just looking..." But he is on a path. And this path has a destination. In fact, the next phrase

STORY: Pornography at Lake

Warning Sign #3. Blazing

and went in to her.

^{You don't need to wonder what will happen if you graze and gaze. It's a path. Soon, very soon, your lust will be Blazing. You will fully inflame your lust when you put yourself in unwise situations, and then look onto the situation. Even Joseph, one of the most godly men in the Bible had to RUN!!! Turn around, Get out of here. But even this, one time serious infraction of purity and sexual purity is also a mile marker. It's not the final destination. It's a mile marker of deeper trouble ahead. Samson zooms right past this mile marker to number Four}

^{Warning Sign #4. Glazing}

² When the Gazites were told,“Samson has come here!” they surrounded the placeand lay in wait for him all night at the gate of the city. They were quiet all night, saying, “In the morning, when it is daylight, we will kill him.” ³ And Samson lay low till midnight; then he arose at midnight, took hold of the doors of the gate of the city and the two gateposts, pulled them up, bar and all, put them on his shoulders, and carried them to the top of the hill that faces Hebron.

Notice that Samson is so proud and arrogant, he waits in the prostitutes room. He waits until midnight. He knows there is a trap. He knows they have him surrounded. But he is so convinced that he is invinsible. So convinced that he can't be stopped. So convinced God is with him -regardless of what and how he lives... He storms out of the harlot's room, grabs the doors off the city, and walks from up to a hill facing Hebron to say, "You can't stop me. Even the walls of your city representing your entire city's defensese can't slow me down..." What is Samson doing... He is Glazing. Glazing over personal holiness. Glazing over his disobedience. Glazing over his foolish and immoral behavior. When we presume God will protect us, bless us, and keep us, even when we willingly are walking out of his will... When we are in the Glazing stage... We are really in trouble. The path is headed to a painful destination

Warning Sign #5. You're Razing

When you raze a building, you completely destroy it. You completely demolish it. Like in the poem of Shakesphere, "Find a day to massacre them all, And raze their faction, and their family, The cruel father, and his traitorous sons, To whom I sued for my dear son 's life..." The final destination of lust and immorality is a total and complete razing of your life. You see it all over the news...

• Governor of South Carolina: "Why did I do this?"
• I had a Staff member who got tangled up in an affair who began to crawl out of the lies and said to me, "How did I lose everything... Why did I take all those risks? Why was I so unwise..."
• I had a friend at Horizon whose spouse was caught in a affair ask me, "How could someone with such good morals end up in such a bad place?"
• About 2 years ago, I was with a distraught husband in my office showing him how to "reverse google a number on his cell phone bill to see who it came from..." And when the name came up, it confirmed his suspicions. When we saw the number on the phone sheet dozens of times, he was heartbroken and sobbed in my office.

How do you end up here. totally destorying your family, your faith and your future? Look at the first word of verse 4 "Afterward..." After you Graze for a while, Gaze for a while, Blaze for a while, and Glaze over all the warnings, all the bad decisions... You are headed to a destination of complete and total Razing.

⁴ Afterward it happened that he loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. ⁵ And the lords of the Philistines came up to her and said to her, “Entice him, and find out where his great strength lies, and by what means we may overpower him, that we may bind him to afflict him; and every one of us will give you eleven hundred pieces of silver.”⁶ So Delilah said to Samson, “Please tell me where your great strength lies, and with what you may be bound to afflict you.” ⁷And Samson said to her, “If they bind me with seven fresh bowstrings, not yet dried, then I shall become weak, and be like any other man.”

Why does he take the risk? When a woman says, "Hey what could I bind your with to AFFLICT YOU!?" Here;s an idea.... RUN! Turn arouND, Why wouldn't he stop? Don't tell her.. Well, you when you get to this stage, you like the risk, the "will I get caught... Pushing the envelope.... " and there may be some sexual induendo to the language, "Hey, I'll tie you up big boy..." Whatever it is, he gives in... Flirting with disaster....

BOOK: In the book RAISING BOYS, Dobson notes that there is something in a guy that pushes the envelope. When a mother says, "You might get hurt, get down..." A boy hears that as, "Yes, I "might" get hurt unless I am clever enough, strong enough, and ambitious enough to overcome where others "might get hurt"... In other words I can get Close to Danger, without really being "in danger"... It's not mating season after all. Well this tendency in guys to feel invincible and get the adrenaline rush of being on the edge... Will lead to our total and complete RAZING! Especially in the area of immorality. And when she does tie him up, does he give up... Learn his lesson. Stop flirting with disaster. Here is a hint guys, It's ALWAYS MATING SEASON! Stay Away from Danger, Don't even get close to danger! STAY AWAY FROM DANGER!. RUN! FLEE! Not Samson, He tries it again...

⁸ So the lords of the Philistines brought up to her seven fresh bowstrings, not yet dried, and she bound him with them. ⁹ Now men were lying in wait, staying with her in the room. And she said to him, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” But he broke the bowstrings as a strand of yarn breaks when it touches fire. So the secret of his strength was not known.

Again, he pushes past the boundary markers. Pushes past the dangers... Now Delilah pulls out the big guns... She says... This is so ironic... You've mocked me and told me lies. What kind of a relationship will we ever have if it is built on lies... Hmmmm, Well, Delilah aren't you being paid to seduce this guy to have him murdered... talk about the pot calling the stove black...

¹⁰ Then Delilah said to Samson, “Look, you have mocked me and told me lies. Now, please tell me what you may be bound with.” ¹¹ So he said to her, “If they bind me securely with new ropes that have never been used, then I shall become weak, and be like any other man.”¹² Therefore Delilah took new ropes and bound him with them, and said to him, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” And men were lying in wait, staying in the room. But he broke them off his arms like a thread.

At this point, like the last, the men are "staying in the room with them" I'm not sure how that works.... I will seduce this guy, lull him to sleep, tie him up, and you 20 soldiers hide under the bed?! I'm not sure... But the point is that Danger is in his very room. His complete and total annihilation is right under his nose, but still he pushes past the markers.

¹³ Delilah said to Samson, “Until now you have mocked me and told me lies. Tell me what you may be bound with.” And he said to her, “If you weave the seven locks of my headinto the web of the loom”— ¹⁴ So she wove it tightly with the batten of the loom, and said to him, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” But he awoke from his sleep, and pulled out the batten and the web from the loom.

Now, we see that he is giving away just about everything. He mentions the locks of his head. He notes that his "hair' has something to do with it. And again, she lulls him to sleep and weaves his hair into a loom. One of those old fashioned quilt blanket makers. He awoke, spun around, and destroyed the loom... Now, shirley now, he'd say, I am messing with fire. i am on my way to my own destruction! I must turn around, Right?! Nope.

¹⁵ Then she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times, and have not told me where your great strength lies.” ¹⁶And it came to pass, when she pestered him daily with her words and pressed him, so that his soul was vexed to death,

This man who could take on 1000 men at once -is vexed to death by the nagging of both the woman in Timnah as well as Delilah. He gives in. He gives it up. He tells her that his secret is that he made a vow to God. A vow he has broken by drinking at the wedding. Sleeping with prostitutes, and touching dead animals, and trying to marry Philistine woman. But God in his grace was working inspite, holding Samson back from his ultimate and complete destruction... But now God lets go, He lets Samson run down the final leg off the path he has been so set on pursuing.

¹⁷ that he told her all his heart, and said to her, “No razor has ever come upon my head, for Ihave been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If I am shaven, then my strength will leave me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.” ¹⁸ When Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called for the lords of the Philistines, saying, “Come up once more, for he has told me all his heart.” So the lords of the Philistines came up to her and brought the money in their hand. ¹⁹ Then she lulled him to sleep on her knees, and called for a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. Then she began to torment him,and his strength left him.²⁰ And she said, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” So he awoke from his sleep, and said, “I will go out as before, at other times, and shake myself free!” Buthe did not know that the LORD had departed from him.

This is how sin works. It mocks you. Entices you. Nags you. Lulls you to sleep. Then cuts off your connection to God, and immediately torments you for giving in to its demands. And Samson in vs 20, did not even know the Lord had departed from him. How can this be. a judge. A mighty man of God. A man who's felt his power and might... and now doesn't even know He is gone. How did he get here? Grazing, Gazing, Blazing, Glazing, and Now Razing! His complete and total destruction: Spiritually, and unfortunately Physically too.

²¹ Then the Philistines took him and put out his eyes, and brought him down to Gaza. They bound him with bronze fetters, and he became a grinder in the prison.

Here Samson finds himself back in Gaza. And now the milemarkers are full circle. He started Grazing in Gaza. And now he is blinded and conquered in Gaza. He flirted with being "near danger," and is now "eaten" by lust. There were warnings. Mile Markers the whole time he was on the path to destruction. He grazed, gazed, blazed, glazed, and then Razed his whole life...

Conclusion: How will you and I keep from the same end as Samson. how will we keep from the web of the spider Delilah in our hearts and lives? We must realize that every path has a destination! And there are mile markers on that path. And God in his grace will give us warnings, allow us to operate in his mercy for a while -even when we are in disobedience... But, at some point, he'll give us over to our desires. He'll let us have what we think we want....

1. RECOGNIZE THE DANGER SIGNS BY TRAINING YOUR INNER ALARM SYSTEM

Don't train your brain to be "close to danger" Don't train your brain and conscience to be "concerned" at stage 5... Begin to train your brain to see the path at stage 1. I want to be nervous at stage 1. When I am Gazing, or in the words of TEMPTATION MEN FACE: I want to know if I am "leaning away from my marraige." And if I am "noticing someone." WARNING WARNING WILL ROBISON! Danger Danger!!!

STORY: The first time I ever heard those 12 stages of an affair was 14 years ago when my senior pastor and boss, Peter Grant was preaching about it. I happened to be in the audience that day instead of teaching student ministry. And for whatever reason, I can't really remember why this many years later... But I was "leaning" away from my marriage. I don't know if Beth and I had a tough month, or just had a fight the night before. I can't remember. But I do remember the Holy Spirit speaking to me in that service. "Chad, You are at Stage 1" Then I looked at stage 2, "Alertness" An Awareness of Someone else. And sure enough I had seemingly innocent alertness to a woman in our church and her character qualities. There was nothing "lustful" about my thoughts, but I was aware of them. Thinking about them Comparing and Contrasting them with myself and Beth. And God used that service to reveal to me, to warn me that I may be on a path. And I doubled my efforts to lean INTO my marriage, to capture my thoughts if this person's character qualities came to my mind. And I made a "vow" to train my brain to feel and alert me -when I was at stage 1 &2. And at this point in my marriage, my internal alarms so so sensitized to Stage 1 and 2. I have never got to stage 3 or beyond. And I want it that way. I want to be keenly aware of I am evening looking down that path. Because all of us are capable of heading down a path once we start down it.

But you and I will never be able to get off this path, never be able to respond to the signs, unless we see the Only One Who completely and totally passed the test.

ADORATION: Jesus found himself with the Devil -facing fierce temptation. He didn't give in. He didn't graze with the devil's offer. Didn't look at those stones for too long. He didn't allow his appetites for food to blaze over his commitment to God. Jesus was the one who saw us headed toward our complete and total destruction. And he allowed his body. The building of his own body to be utterly and completely destroyed by God. Totally disenagrated, utterly crushed. And on that cross, if ever there was a time, he was temped to call down angels, to step off the cross, it was then. But three days later, jesus completely and totally crushed the devil, and death, and destruction. And he now lives in you and in me. And by peering into his holiness. Peering into his passion. Seeing that in him is everything you need. In him, is the beauty you are really seeking. And his Holy Spirit lives in us to bear witness to the truth. To warn and convict us when we are off track. To illuminate our conscience.

CONCLUSION:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1169032/Wife-sees-man-eaten-crocodile-attempts-swim-river-drunk-night-out.html

None of us wants to be a sad story for our family and faith. So Stay away from the Crocodiles. In 2009, a man and his wife were drunk. And this man decided to try to swim across the river at night. Yes, he knew that there had been reports of crocodiles in the river, but what's the chance the crocodile would be at this section of river at this moment of time. He was a fast swimmer, his rational brain was compromised by alcohol, and he wanted the adrenaline rush of being "close to danger" His wife and witnesses report seeing the man pulled under. Police said the 20-year-old man, who has yet to be named, had been drinking with his brother-in-law and a group of friends during the evening.Instead of heading to a bridge to reach the other side of the river, where they had been camping with relatives, they decided to swim across to the far bank. Locals said a large crocodile had been seen in the area in previous days and no-one had dared venture into the water. But after a night of drinking, said a police officer, it appeared that the two men had thrown caution to the wind and had decided to take a 'short cut' back to the camping ground by swimming across the river. And that Short Cut, That Ignoring of the Danger Signs led to the Lost of His Young Life, hurting and tramatizing his young wife, and utterly destroying his future. Lust is a Crocodile. Don't Even Get Close. Don't Take Short Cuts.